Men dream of ideally mastering sexual techniques, and women want to have a perfect body. But problems in bed usually arise for other reasons.
Most men come to therapy to improve their sexual skills, Watson says. But the problem, as a rule, is not connected with their skill. The error lies in one or more of the following points.
1. The lack of female desire is misinterpreted.
Men are immediately informed about the attractiveness of a woman by their body. Just the sight of an unfamiliar beauty or their own partner can cause them to have a partial erection. Women are different. Their arousal is associated with imagination and fantasy, so they need more time to tune in to sex.
So do not take the lack of instant desire from a partner to heart. It is better to stretch the process of seduction a little.
2. Frustrated by her slow arousal
This error is closely related to the previous one. Women slowly tune in to sex and are slowly aroused. It’s a matter of physiology, nothing more. But if the partner feels that the man is disappointed with her speed abilities, her desire intensifies even more slowly. Or disappears altogether.
Solution: Relax, take your time and enjoy every moment.
3. Move to the genitals too quickly
Many men prefer genital caresses to everyone else and think that women share their sympathy. Error. The physical arousal of a woman is not yet a signal of a rapid transition to the main thing. On the contrary, premature genital stimulation can kill desire.
Solution: it is better to wait a little longer, continuing to caress the partner’s entire body.
4. Concentrate on their erection
Men who care too much about their erections can ruin the feeling of intimacy during sex.
If they are focused on delaying ejaculation, a woman may feel isolated, forgotten. To calm her down, Watson advises men to stay in touch, to tell her about their desire.
If the erection, on the contrary, weakens, it is not bad to use this time for an additional round of caresses.
In the case of rapid ejaculation, you can tell your partner that the reason is in her incredible sexuality. And resort to oral sex. It is no worse than ordinary sexual intercourse.
5. Only stimulate the vagina
The head of the clitoris is about the same as the head of the penis. Needless to say, vaginal stimulation alone is not very effective? Yes, of course, there are exceptions. But still, more often it is the clitoris that is the center of a woman’s sexual pleasure.
Women who have problems in sex often associate them with the lack of a perfect body or fantastic skills, like porn stars . According to Laurie Watson, all this has little to do with reality. Most likely, the reason is related to the following errors.
1. Hint too subtly
Many women believe that men can read minds. Therefore, instead of directly saying about their desire or demonstrating it by action, they resort to a system of subtle hints that are understandable only to them.
Solution: Forget about telepathy. Words and unambiguous touches are more effective.
2. They talk little about their desires.
Saying your preferences once is not enough. An excited man can simply forget about all the nuances that you like (especially if they were announced in passing six months ago). Don’t be afraid to remind him of them. In any case, this is better than waiting, enduring and being offended, thinking that he simply does not want to please you.
3. Focus on the flaws in your body
Men enjoy simply the presence of a real, naked and attractive woman. Those at this very moment reflect on the flaws of their own body. The flow of self-criticism alienates women from the process, reduces desire and makes sex faded and insipid.
If you have a similar problem, try to distract yourself from criticism by shifting your attention to bodily sensations. Try to listen to your breath, feel the pleasure of touching. And think less.
4. Worry about getting it right
To really please your partner, you need to enjoy yourself. Watson also notes that in sex therapy, women are more likely to care about how well they behave in bed. As a result, anxiety does not allow them to relax and explore their own feelings.
Solution: just ask the man what exactly and how he likes it. This is much better than wasting extra energy on mastering an ideal technique divorced from practice.
5. Touch lightly or hesitantly
Most men are excited by female confidence, including in touch. Women, on the other hand, often do it overly gently – in a way that pleases them. In addition, Watson notes, it is not uncommon for men to complain that their partners avoid touching their genitals or wait for a special invitation.
Her advice is to stop being shy. Kiss passionately, wrap yourself tightly, and touch without hesitation. In general, prove your interest in deeds.
Do you have any other claims to the opposite sex? Feel free to share them in the comments.