February 2006 Archives
What, ever could it be that would bring her so low to the ground out of site with her hand nearing her nose. Hmm. If only I could figure it out. Damn it! And Tao is usually so strict with celebrities and they're "extracurricular" activities. And, seriously, wouldn't you just like to knock the shit out of that punk on the left right in his little manscaped face?
I can't really explain why it is that I like this picture. Well, I guess I can. Usually, when these chicks stand on the red carpet they stand all demour, sideways, with their legs together and here we are with the bestest hottest little former shaved headed employee of the Wachowski Brothers standing with those legs apart as if to say, "Hey, Mr. Celebutaint, how's about you checking my oil?"*
[Egotastic]
*I, too, have no idea what that means, but just look at the girl.
Yeah, I'm having trouble too. But can I just say, Damn! Look at that ass!
Listen, I don't watch Dancing With the Stars nor did I watch wrestling, so until I saw these pics I had absolutely no idea who this lil tiznaint was/is. Let's just say now I guess that my Tivo will be reset tonight to catch repeats of ballroom dancing with Evander Holyfield. I'm not proud of that, but I feel I must be honest with you.
I don't care how ugly her little baby Seal pup is.
Now that's a face that only a multi-billion dollar producer could attempt to love.
"Come on, dude, you know what I'm looking at. I couldn't take my eyes off that ass. I'm sorry. She's beautiful. And she's such a pain in my ass, too. But that's what I love about her. She's the kind of girl you just want to have angry sex with for the rest of your life because it's just that good."[NY Post]
[More Pics of her over @ SorryIGotDrunk.com]
The thing is, I can't figure out if this makes Val cooler or not. He kind of swings back and forth every 6 months. I've been sitting here staring at this for a few minutes and I just can't do the equation. I guess it's not the same as a sex tape, but in some respects it probably means more than that. Like how you can't kiss a hooker. Too personal. At least that's what they keep telling me.
[The Bastardly]
Not sure who this Tom Ford character is, but he gets them naked, so he's all right in my book.
Whats up boys and girls. We here at the Celebutaint Offices thought it would be nice to give something back to all our loyal fans, and also give you a forum to express yourselves creatively. So today we're debuting Haikuesday. A new feature to the site that would allow you to tap into that dirty little mind of yours and come up with something vile to elaborate on. A Haiku (for those who never made it to 5th grade) is a poem style originally from Japan with a 5-7-5 syllable count, centering around the great mysteries of the lower Taintular region which was discovered during the end of the bung dynasty, right around the time Jesus died or was born, I think . Anyway, we encourage submissions, but please try to stick to the format.
5-7-5 + Taintisms= Blog gold.
And don't be afraid to slam others if their haikus suck ass, just do it in verse. Happy short sentence writing.
Prof. Crabman
Oh yeah, here's one to get you started....
I'm famous down low,
No. not my boys nor my hole,
my Taints' the Star. Yo. My taint is mighty,
my taint is so full of spunk,
He'll fight you right now, you little ass punk!
do I know my taints a he?
it stands when I pee, it shouts with such glee
when there's fe-taint on tv!
Oh REJOICE! Praise GOD, for blessing me with
the best taint in history.
Hitlers taint sucked ass.
Whats up boys and girls. We here at the Celebutaint Offices thought it would be nice to give something back to all our loyal fans, and also give you a forum to express yourselves creatively. So today we're debuting Haikuesday. A new feature to the site that would allow you to tap into that dirty little mind of yours and come up with something vile to elaborate on. A Haiku (for those who never made it to 5th grade) is a poem style originally from Japan with a 5-7-5 syllable count, centering around the great mysteries of the lower Taintular region which was discovered during the end of the bung dynasty, right around the time Jesus died or was born, I think . Anyway, we encourage submissions, but please try to stick to the format.
5-7-5 + Taintisms= Blog gold.
And don't be afraid to slam others if their haikus suck ass, just do it in verse. Happy short sentence writing.
-Prof. Crabman
Oh yeah, here's one to get you started....
I'm famous down low,
No. not my boys nor my hole,
my Taints' the Star. Yo. My taint is mighty,
my taint is so full of spunk,
He'll fight you right now, you little ass punk!
do I know my taints a he?
it stands when I pee, it shouts with such glee
when there's fe-taint on tv!
Oh REJOICE! Praise GOD, for blessing me with
the best taint in history.
Hitlers taint sucked ass.
No. not my boys nor my hole,
my Taints' the Star. Yo. My taint is mighty,
my taint is so full of spunk,
He'll fight you right now, you little ass punk!
do I know my taints a he?
it stands when I pee, it shouts with such glee
when there's fe-taint on tv!
Oh REJOICE! Praise GOD, for blessing me with
the best taint in history.
Hitlers taint sucked ass.
I don't like sitcoms. They're stupid and corny and predictable. I mean, right now, there is some crappy sitcom on in the background as I post this, but that doesn't count because I'm not really watching it anyway. I'm typing this. And really it's only on because I want to see what lines they'll give Barney this week. I mean, come on, NPH is the shit. Go ahead, say something bad about Doogie, and you'll have me to deal with. Where the hell was I? Oh. Kelly Cuoco, star of 8 Reasons Why To Cancel A Sitcom When Jack Tripper Dies, is hot. I think that's all I was attempting to get across here. I don't really remember now. But she is and I'm just going to leave it at that.
Thumbs are NSFW, kind of. Honestly, I think at this point seeing Paris' nipples is the modern equivalent to Donald Duck not wearing pants.
Listen, I love animals. Really, I do. But PETA is bullshit, plain and simple. They do, however, have one redeeming thing about their whole farce. They get hot chicks to pose nude to protest wearing fur. I'm against fur too. That we do have in common. I'm against all kinds of it. Except furburgers. Mmm.
[The Bastardly]
Listen, we're a new site and sometimes you just gotta gank some shit. I stole this pic from the geniuses over at The Bastardly for a couple reasons. First off, Eva Longoria is hot. Secondly, she sleeps with anything that shoots baskets, impersonates dead singers, or ruins billion dollar sci-fi franchises. And thirdly, I wanted to use the word terrycloth in a post.
[The Bastardly]
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xcelseo@gmail.com
Be A Celebutaint!
Beautiful or Ugly
Purebredbreeders.com
Celebglitz
Celebridiot
Celebrity Pictures
Purebredbreeders.com
CelebrityPuke.com
Distortrait
Horndog
Purebredbreeders.com
Hot Momma Gossip
HotOnlineNews
Purebredbreeders.com
It's All The Blog
Just Hilary Duff
Purebredbreeders.com
Just Jessica Alba
Just Jessica Simpson
Malibu // Gossip
Purebredbreeders.com
MakeUsHot
NinjaDude
Purebredbreeders.com
Pussycat Dolls Pictures
RagZines
Snitch.com
Purebredbreeders.com
SorryIGotDrunk
Stacy Keibler Pics
Starpulse
Purebredbreeders.com
Stories, Tales, Lies, & Accusations
The New Pink
Purebredbreeders.com
Thighs Wide Shut
Hollywood Gossip
